How to set a boundary
How can you set a boundary. No matter what time of the year you are in, it is a great topic to help you in your life and business. It is time to now think about your boundaries. What does this look like?
Spend some time to reflect these boundaries and how they align with your values. It's time to say "no" to the things keeping you small or busy or that drain your energy.
Remember the French saying, “Good fences make good neighbors”? Well, this couldn’t be more true for every relationship in your life- even your relationship to yourself. Boundaries also help us to create energetic (and sometimes physical) space in our lives. There has to be space in order for your vision to come through.
What is a boundary?
There is a whole guide on boundary setting. But it is an energetic, verbal, or actionable limits we put in place to advocate and honour the needs of our whole and complete authentic sense of self.
A boundary marks a limit that may not be crossed. For the purposes of this work, your boundaries are the limit of what you will and will not accept in your personal, professional, romantic, family (etc.) relationships. A boundary can be physical, mental, emotional, or energetic.
Example:
When I worked in corporate and strategy consulting, I said yes to everything. Even in my personal life. Of course, if you have heard my story, that led to burnout. I am sure you can think of a time where your boundaries were crossed.
The Boundary Formula
I’ve shared in my previous article in more detail, but let me outline it for you:
Draw a line in the sand (what you will or won’t accept). What in the past has made you feel small or feel like you are settling? That is maybe where you need to set a boundary. It is a time you didn’t feel good about a situation
State your boundaries and needs (share it with the people who are crossing it. Your clients, friends or family. Create the fence. See below on how to do this)
Follow through with aligned actions - do the thing. When someone is stepping over your boundaries, you say no. You take action
You can read more about the boundary formula here.
How do we set boundaries?
There are three main ways to set a boundary and it looks a little like this:
Verbal - say it. Say it out loud to the person you want to put a boundary up with. Have that conversation (of course it isn’t easy)
Written - send some communication about it via message or email. Add it to a contact or your T&C’s
Energetic - reprogram yourself and put out that boundary energetically
Write down what is triggering you in your ways of living. Then from there, take the time to set that boundary.
Final thoughts
Boundaries are important to help you live in alignment with your life. It helps you attract the clients you want and allows you to feel free and in balance. If you want to learn more about boundaries I’ve been interviewed by Tracy Harris on her podcast: My boundaries My Business a little while ago and this podcast has been picked up to be mentioned as a favorite for the holiday season.